Adulthood
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: Mannen has grown up, but Goh really doesn't seem to notice. It's all too frustrating.


A/N: I wrote this a while ago, as a birthday fic for a friend of mine. It's a little silly, but I hope you enjoy it!

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Adulthood

At a certain age, a Leafe knight's body stopped aging. It was that way for Hayate, Sasame, Kei, and Goh; so Mannen had always known it would be that way for him. Knowing it and living it were two different things, however. It seemed odd that twenty years into his life, he still looked like he was sixteen. Other twenty year olds looked more mature, and were taken more seriously.

Mannen desperately wanted to be taken seriously, but that was a wish he feared would never come true. his fellow Leafe knights still saw him as the incompetent little kid he'd once been. Maybe if he looked a little older it would help. A little older, a little taller, maybe a little less...well...feminine...

"Mannen!"

Mannen nearly jumped out of his skin. He'd been wallowing so fully in his self-pity that he hadn't heard Goh arrive.

"What?" he asked, irritably.

"Did I scare you?" Goh ruffled his hair. Mannen resisted the urge to bite Goh's hand off.

"Don't do that! I'm not a kid anymore!" he complained.

"I know, I know."

Mannen glared at him. "You _don't_ know. You don't know _anything, _you stupid jerk!" Ah, and maybe he should work on learning to insult like an adult, although some adults he knew were pretty immature.

"Wha...?"

"Stop bothering me," Mannen growled, and he stalked away. He didn't want to talk to Goh right now, considering Goh was his main problem. Goh constantly ignored that fact that Mannen had grown up somewhere along the line, and he wasn't a little kid anymore. He didn't think like a little kid anymore, and his emotions weren't little kid emotions anymore. His body's reactions to certain things weren't very little kid-like, either. (Oh, it was _embarrassing _sometimes...)

He was thoroughly frustrated, and there was nothing he could do about it. The idiot Goh was never going to _get _it, unless Mannen screamed it in his ear.

__

"I'm in love with you, idiot! Get a clue!"

He couldn't do that, though. He couldn't say it. He didn't know how Goh felt about homosexuals. He'd never asked, and he wasn't going to. He was terribly afraid that Goh would say something cruel, and then...

Goh never said anything cruel, though. He joked around a lot, but he was a very kind person. Goh was...

Mannen though entirely too much about Goh. When had it started? He couldn't even remember. All he knew was that one day, he'd realized just how much the stupid Goh meant to him; and at that same time, he'd realized that he would never be more than an annoying little kid in Goh's eyes.

Life sucks. Mannen was bitter. Mannen was pissed off.

Mannen...was a little bit depressed.

Hajime and Shin were also grown up. As grown up as they were ever going to get, anyway. Shin was still very cute, and very sweet; Hajime had grown into a very handsome man.

Mannen...was girly. There was no other way he felt he could describe himself. His eyelashes were too long, his hair was too soft, he was too skinny...Everything about him was girly. He remembered being very boyish when he was little...well, except for the Leafe Knight outfit. That hadn't been very boyish. Maybe he should blame the outfit for all his problems. He had a new outfit, now...it was even girlier.

He could hardly stand it. He didn't want to be a pretty boy; he wanted to be big and strong, and able to prove himself to the whole world. Right after he'd proved himself to Goh.

"Mannen..."

Mannen blinked. He was sure that Hajime had been talking for quite some time, but he hadn't heard a word. "Sorry, I wasn't listening."

"I know. I could tell. What's wrong?"

The three boys had always been close. Though Hajime and Shin were three years younger than Mannen, that still made them closer in age than the rest of the Leafe Knights. They'd grown up together as close as brothers, and while the other Leafe Knights had always been there, the bond wasn't the same.

Though, to Mannen, Goh had never seemed as far away in age. Maybe because he always acted like an immature geek. He'd always paid attention to the three little ones.

"Nothing's wrong," Mannen finally said in response to Hajime's question.

"You look depressed, Mannen. That's not like you."

"You're usually angry!" Shin just had to poke his nose in. He was still cute and sweet, but he was also nosy and liked to tease.

"There's nothing wrong, so drop it," Mannen said.

"Are you love sick?" Shin asked.

"No! Why the hell would I be love sick?"

"That was just a little too defensive to be believable," Shin said. "So who is it? Where did you guys meet, and what's her name, and --"

"I told you to drop it," Mannen growled. "I'm not love sick. Leave me alone." It seemed that he was stalking angrily away from his friends more and more often these days.

"Mannen! Wait! You know Shin's just teasing. You really can tell us what's wrong."

Mannen sighed. He wanted to tell Hajime everything. Hajime was his best friend, but...He didn't know how Hajime would feel about him being gay, either.

"Nothing is wrong," he repeated. He left a concerned Hajime behind him. He wanted to be alone for a while.

He felt like he would be alone forever.

Mannen was good at card games of all kinds. He was good, but Goh was better, and he'd made it his goal in life to beat Goh at something (anything!!) one day. That was the reason he gave every time he demanded that Goh play with him.

The real reason was that he liked to spend the time with him. Their games could drag on for hours, as they enjoyed themselves and forgot the time. Those were the hours he loved the best. Sometimes it almost felt like Goh was treating him as an equal.

Though that usually passed quickly when he said something stupid, or reached out to ruffle Mannen's hair.

My too-soft girly hair, Mannen thought bitterly, as he pushed Goh's arm away. "I keep telling you to stop doing that!"

"I know."

"Then stop, damn it!"

"I like to see you get angry," Goh said, with a grin. His grin was adorable, but Mannen hated it, sometimes.

"Just tdeal the damn cards."

"Yes, sir."

Mannen loved playing cards with Goh, but he alseo hated it. His life was turning into one huge contradiction...He hated the card games because he and Goh were alone, facing each other over a table that was entirely too small, because it let Mannen be almost close enough to hear Goh breathing. It was a sexy sound, and...

"Mannen...are you okay, your cheeks are turning red."

"I'm fine. Play the game."

"You've been acting kind of strange lately. Is everything okay?" Goh asked. "Are you worried about something?"

I'm worried that I'm going to live the rest of my life wanting you and not being able to say a word, and that I'm going to die before I even get to jump you, or tell you how much I love you, and -- "I'm not worried about anything. Why do people keep bothering me?"

"You're really the king of bad tempers."

"Excuse me for living. Are you going to play?"

"Shin told me that you're love sick."

"Shin is a pain in the ass!" Mannen threw his cards down on the table. "I told him that I'm definitely not love sick!"

"Then what is it?"

"Back off!"

Goh blinked. He looked almost hurt. "You don't have to get so hostile."

Mannen was fed up. "Why the hell _not_? You don't really give a damn what the real problem is, do you? I mean, it's not like it's an _adult_ problem or anything, since I'm still a stupid little girly _kid_ without a brain in his head, so why don't you just quit asking?!"

"Mannen--"

"I'm going now." Mannen didn't feel like playing cards anymore. He wanted to curl up into a ball and die, instead. Goh tried to follow him, but he slammed the door in Goh's face.

How could I have fallen for that idiot? Mannen stormed away, and he hardly even cared that he was crying like some stupid little girl.

"Shin was right, wasn't he?"

"About what?" Mannen asked. He wasn't really in the mood for Hajime's prying questions, but it was marginally better than being in the stupid Goh's presence at the moment.

"You are love sick."

"Since when are you two the experts on love?" Mannen demanded.

"I've noticed that you act weird abround Goh th You have for a while. It's him, right?"

Mannen opened his mougth, but no sound came out. Was he really that bad at hiding it?

"You have this sad look in your eyes every time you look at him."

"Stop prying into my feelings like some woman!" Mannen yelled. "I'm not a girl, I don't have stupid feelings like that! And even if I do, I don't want to talk about them! Just because I look like a woman doesn't mean I want to act like one, damn it!"

"I never said you did. I just don't want you to keep on being depressed," Hajime said. "I'm only worroied about you."

Mannen sighed. Hajime had developed into a very quiet and rather fragile person, who cared more about everyone than he really needed to. Mannen was bitter about that, too; Hajime was more feminine in personality that he was, and hyet looked much more like a man.

Life is unfair.

"Hajime...I don't really want to talk about it," Mannen said quietly. "I haven't told you because I didn't really know what you'd think if I said that I'm...I'm... "

"I don't care what kind of people you like," Hajime said. "It doesn't matter."

"What about Shin?"

"He already thinks you're gay, anyway."

"Just because I'm girly doesn't mean that --"

"It's not even that. He can just tell," Hajime said. "Sometimes, he just...knows."

"Don't tell Goh, okay? I don't want him to know," Mannen said. "I never want him to know. He'll never see me as anything but a little kid."

"You really should tell him how you feel. Then maybe he'd treat you differently," Hajime said.

"Or he'd think I'm disgusting and never talk to me again. I don't really want to take the chance. I mean, Goh's always been there, and I don't want him to leave now. Maybe I can get over this weird feeling, anyway."

"Love doesn't just go away."

Mannen knew that all too well. It wouldn't go away no matter how hard he tried. The desire, the love, whatever...it wouldn't go away.

"I know that, but...Goh really doesn't ever have to know about it, does he? It --" Mannen's eyes widened as he realized that someone else was with them, watching...listening.

"When did you get here?" he demanded.

"A little while a go," Goh said. "Mannen--"

"Don't say a word," Mannen's voice was shaking. "Just...don't say a world!" He turned and fled. He wanted to find a hole to bury himself in.

Mannen didn't look up when he heard someone sit down beside him.

"Hajime told me where you'd go. Mannen, I want to talk."

"No."

"I didn't know that's how you feel."

"Well no, because you're stupid., and you never notice."

"You never told me."

"It's freaking obvious sometimes! Don't you ever look _down_? I mean..." Mannen blushed. "Well, and _besides_ that, why else would I want to spend time with you, and...whatever. Just go away."

"Mannen."

"You don't have any use for a stupid girly kid anyway!"

"What's wrong with being girly? I think you're very pretty."

"Pretty is for girls!"

"I'm complimenting you, stupid."

Mannen's mouth opened and closed. "...what do you mean by pretty, anyway?"

"I mean that you're pretty. I can't really say that you're handsome or whatever, because you're not that, but you are very beautiful. I have noticed that you've grown up you know. I didn't want to treat you any differently, because...well, habits die hard, right? You're still Mannen, and I still like to tease you."

"You..."

"I don't think you're a stupid little kid. Well, you might be just as stupid as I am, because don't you ever look down, either?"

Mannen blinked a few times, and tried to digest that. "What?"

"I want you, stupid."

Mannen's face turned a brilliant shade of cherry red. "Oh."

Goh laughed. "You're cute like that, you know."

"I'm not cute at all! I'm beautiful, remember?"

"You'll never let me forget it, either, will you?"

"No!"

Goh's finger traced over his lips. "You're smiling. It's been a while since you seeme happy at all."

"I haven't been happy."

"I know. I"m sorry I didn't notice. We could have talked about this a lot sooner."

"Yeah, well. I"m sorry for not confessing."

"I'm sorry for --"

"This is getting ridiculous." Mannen moved forward, put his arms around the love of his life, and hugged him for all he was worth. "I love you, stupid."

"It was so weird at first. The first time I realized that you're not a kid at all anymore, I mean _really_ noticed, and..."

Mannen decided that he would try and make Goh blush much more often. It was adorable.

"It was weird when I hit puberty and _stuff_ started happening," Mannen said, wrinkling his nose. "It was hard to hide it, but I didn't feel like explaining _that_."

Goh...snickered. "It's natural, you know."

"Yeah, well."

"You're pretty shy about this aren't you?" Goh teased. "You ever been kissed, Mannen?"

"No! Who would I have been kissed by?"

"Good. Then I'll kiss you now." It was a light kiss at first, but that changed quickly. Mannen couldn't believe the feeling of their tongues meshing, and Goh's hands tangled in his hair, and...

Oh, please, whatever gods are out there, don't let this end...

"Mannen, are you all right?" Shin asked. "You seem especially happy today."

"Is there something wrong with being happy?" Mannen asked. The stupid grin on his face did not waver.

"You must have gotten lucky with your crush!" Shin exclaimed.

"You're damn right!" Mannen replied.

Shin gaped at him. "Huh?"

"I got real lucky!" Mannen said. "Well, I have a date tonight, so I'd better go and get ready!" He hurried off.

"What came over him?" Shin asked. "He didn't even yell at me for teasing him."

Hajime shrugged. "It's love."

"Really?"

"Maybe."

Shin was terribly confused. He decided that for once, he just didn't want to know.

owari


End file.
